Nothing has really changed about the human society. Yes, Science and technology have seen major advances with time but the core of the human society hasn’t changed a bit.
You can see people display attributes seen in the old times. Emotions of the past haven’t changed or been mastered. People are needed. We are needy.
You have to realize that you need to be self-reliant in order to be consistently happy. Happiness is truly the only important thing that matters in the world.
Your quality of life is determined by how happy you are. Unhappy people live shitty lives.
So how do we judge your self-reliance?
Are you looking to your romantic partner to provide you your happiness?
Are you always expecting your friends to be there for you?
Do you always look to your boss for money?
How hard is it for you to be alone?
Are you a person that called people names when they don’t patronize you?
Do you feel ignored at work?
These and many other thoughts will always find their way to the fore of your thinking process. The answer of a lot of people to these questions would be yes.
This is the exact opposite of self-reliance. The pattern can’t be blamed on us as humans. We have had to rely on people right from birth. Survived as children was made possible by our reliance on our parents. As adults, we’ve grown to become dependent and reliant on others from help.
We don’t know how to seek for solutions to our problems inwardly. We always look outside for help on life decisions. We look outwards for advice, love, affection and especially approval from the society.
While being recognized as a member of the society is a good thing, try to avoid as much dependence as you can. If you critically examine yourself, you will realize that you might not need many things you seek approval for from the society.
Learn to start relying on yourself emotionally. You don’t need others before you make yourself happy.
Losing your identity is a way of becoming what you are not. You won’t be able to become who you want to be. And it’s strange considering the fact that we all eat to be loved most by the people we really care about. So it is essential to find a balance and not be needy.
The belief that being self-reliant is bad is a fallacy. Your self-reliance will uplift you to a stage where you can improve the quality of lives if those around you.
If you are trying to master the art of self reliance, you can try the following steps
1. Have a voice
So you speak out often? Do you just try to change the way things are or do you just resign and live with it? Do you feel the need to make concessions or agree with every point people bring up?
These are important questions to ask in your quest to have a voice. Confrontation makes people quaver. If you want to have your own voice, you have to speak without holding back.
Learn how to handle confrontation. Stop running from it.
A typical method people use to get out of a conflict is to convince themselves that they really don’t care. Then they walk away. In most cases, this is actually just a defense mechanism.
No one is a saint. You don’t need to agree with with everyone is saying. Rely on yourself for judgement.
2. Learn how to master your emotions
Being a master at controlling emotions is good for self-reliance. We are find of utterances like
“This day sucks.”
“People are untrustworthy.”
“My belly aches.”
Who really cares?
If you keep spilling your emotions out without check, nothing is going to change.
Learn how to master your emotions and control it.
3. Celebrate adversity
Your problems are yours to solve. They won’t dissapear just because you chose to ignore them. You have to be able to face your demons and find solutions to your problems yourself.
Happiness is just a self-reliant step away from you.